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Stop building for "millennials who save time"
Start building for the person who needs you to win
Welcome back to This Isn't a Marketing Problem, a 7-part series on how startups burn cash not because of bad marketing but because they never built the right message, system, or audience to begin with. Didn’t read Parts 1–3? Don't embarrass yourself. Catch up here:
📌 Part 1: We Built It. Now Just Make People Buy It.
📌 Part 2: You're Selling Features, Not Outcomes.
📌 Part 3: No One Knows You Exist.
In Part 4, No One Knows You Exist
🕵️♂️ Who actually gives a sh*t about what you’re building?
🧠 Find your ride-or-die customers
✍️ Use them to build your brand's foundation
🔥 TL;DR your ride-or-die starts here
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🕵️♂️ Who actually gives a sh*t about what you’re building?
I was chatting with a startup founder a few weeks ago. He built an amazing product that created AI renderings of your backyard based on your landscaping vibes (i.e. English cottage, Tuscan, modern, etc.). His only problem? Figuring out who he built it for. This founder fell into the "we built it, now just make people buy it" trap. Your product isn't going to generate velocity if you don't know who you're building it for (and what problem it solves for them in a better way that what currently exists).
Enter: your ride-or-die customer (aka ideal customer persona, aka high expectation customer). This person isn't just someone who buys. They're someone who feels something when they do. They:
acknowledge and enjoy your product to the greatest extent
aspire others to emulate
know the market and make good decisions
have extremely high standards
Airbnb's Ride-or-Die customer wasn't "travelers looking for deals." It was "people who want to belong, live like a local, and experience a location as if they are living there." Your Ride-or-Die exists at a convergence point between "what" you offer and "why" you offer it. Taking Airbnb's example, the Ride-or-Die customer exists on this convergence point:
staying in unique spaces (the "what")
wants to belong (the "why")
Get your what + why dialed in for the right person, and you don't need to hack growth.
They'll do it for you.
🧠 Find your ride-or-die customers
You don't need 10,000 users to know who your Ride-Or-Die customer is. You need 15 real conversations and a gut that knows what to look for. Start here:
1. Lurk Where They Rant
Reddit threads, Slack groups, Discords, blog comments.
Look for people duct-taping broken tools together.
They want you to exist.
2. Identify the Complainers
Find the people mad about the exact problem you solve.
Anger = attention.
If they care enough to yell, they'll care enough to buy.
3. DM 50 People (Yes, Really)
"I saw you mention X. I'm building something that helps with Y. Want to jam?"
Do it with no pitch. Just curiosity.
4. Use the Beer Test
Would you actually want to grab a drink with this person?
If no — they're not your Ride-or-Die.
✍️ Use them to build your brand's foundation
Once you’ve got signal, you’re ready to get specific.
Write the Hypothesis
Our Ride-or-Die customer is someone who [insert your emotionally driven "why” and behaviorally proven "what"].
Example:
Our Ride-or-Die customer is someone who wants a greater sense of urban adventure at an affordable cost and is comfortable venturing into the home of someone they connected with online.
Do the Research to Find the “What” and the “Why” to Validate the Hypothesis
Quantitative = The What
Dig into your data:
What products do loyal customers buy first?
What channels drive the highest repurchase?
How long until they buy again?
What actions do returners take that one-timers don’t?
🔥 You’re trying to decode the behavioral fingerprint of loyalty.
Qualitative = The Why
Run surveys and interviews to uncover:
What motivates them?
What identity are they chasing?
What aspirational outcome are you helping them achieve?
🔥 Ask psychological questions, not just transactional ones.
How do they think?
What drives them to act like they do?
What do they need?
How do they behave?
Interview 15–20 Real People
This is where the gold is. You're listening for the emotional unlock. The "Ohhh…that's why they really buy."
Ask:
Why did you first buy?
What were you hoping for?
What’s the real benefit?
What makes this better than the alternative?
What else do you love and why?
Then shut up and listen.
Build Your Profile
Once you've done the work, write it up:
Our Ride-or-Die customer is someone who [core emotional driver + product fit]
Demographics: [age, location, income, etc.]
Motivations: [what they’re chasing]
Needs: [what they expect you to deliver]
Example:
Our Ride-or-Die customer is someone who craves marketing clarity in a world of chaos and wants a proven growth system that doesn’t burn them out.
Demographics: 30–45, growth marketers, founders, mostly remote
Motivations: outperform peers, prove ROI, build compounding systems
Needs: no-fluff frameworks, tactical templates, strategic clarity
🔥 TL;DR your ride-or-die starts here
Before you run another ad, ship another feature, or build another landing page…you need to know who your Ride-or-Die customer is.
Your actual best customer.
What to do next:
Open this Google Sheet and make a copy → Ride-or-Die Customer Template
Fill out the first tab: "Worksheet"
Make smart bets about your ideal customer's lifestyle, behavior, pain points, and identity.
Draft your Ride-or-Die customer statement.
Commit to 5 real-world actions:
Identify 5 places your ICP hangs out online
Observe conversations for 30 mins/day this week
Spot 10 people talking about your exact problem
DM them using the cold outreach script
Book 3 discovery calls for next week
Before you chase scale, you need someone who gives a sh*t that you exist.
Next week: Part 5 – Someone's got a leaky funnel
We walk through why most startup funnels aren't real, how to spot (and fix) the biggest leaks, and building a lightweight funnel that drives action.
This newsletter is for you. What marketing challenges are you facing in your startup journey? Reply directly to this email with your questions or topics you'd like to see covered in future issues.
Until next week,

P.S. Found this helpful? Forward it to another founder who might benefit—we're all in this together.